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10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage Is Wrong


1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all: women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

---
I saw this on a facebook group, tried to find the original source, and then gave up when I came across WAY too many results.

But they're right. This needs to be printed on a t-shirt. I'm thinking white letters on black. With a snarky icon on the other side. Although I have no idea where or how I'd get these t-shirts printed... or how much it might cost. (not entirely serious, but if people express interest, and suggest t-shirt printers, I may be willing to be unlazy and arrange something.)

Date: 2007-08-07 08:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] melayneseahawk.livejournal.com
CafePress, perhaps?

Date: 2007-08-07 10:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] contrasedative.livejournal.com
Doesn't CafePress have shoddy quality? I thought the printing was like stiff plastic. From a quick search, some options include:

CheapesTees does screen printing with a minimum order of 24.

Brunetto T-shirts has a minimum order of 12 for single-color printing.

Date: 2007-08-07 10:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] melayneseahawk.livejournal.com
It's only stiff if you have them print a block rather than using Photoshop or whatever to mask out the negative space. I've got about half a dozen shirts from there, and it's only the ones where the negative space is printed that aren't perfectly comfy.

Date: 2007-08-07 10:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] contrasedative.livejournal.com
Oh, okay. Thanks for clarifying that- I'll keep them in mind from now on.

Date: 2007-08-07 10:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] porsupah.livejournal.com
(5) particularly grates with me, for some reason. It's frustrating to have people maintain there's some magical sanctity which, apparently, would be utterly destroyed were people they don't know and will never meet allowed to marry - what is this, some kind of fundie version of quantum entanglement? - when straight marriages don't have a terribly good success rate compared to gay commitments, and when travesties like that "marriage" are a commercial industry.

Date: 2007-08-07 11:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] evrdream33.livejournal.com
If you get them printed, let me know so I can order one. =D

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